The Battle of Normandy
"D-Day"
06 June 1944
Thank you.
"D-Day"
06 June 1944
Thank you.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
The Genesis of Clan Caribou
Someone recently asked me, "Dude, what's up with this 'Elder Caribou' stuff?"... I directed him to this blog for an answer, whereupon I was informed that he had already searched the blog and all he found was this post, promising an answer that was never provided. Hmm... let me see... guess he's right. Crud. Well, I suppose there's nothing for it but to relate the Tale of the Caribou...
A long time ago, when I was growing up in the rural wilderness of southwest Oklahoma, my brothers and I would go hiking and camping in the nearby Wichita Mountains whenever the opportunity presented itself (and the farm chores were done). Our parents let us go into the mountains pretty much on our own once we had reached a certain level of maturity and woodcraft, as long as we left a plan of where we were headed and how long we expected to be gone; this is one of my fondest memories of my childhood. To be able to walk half a mile to the base of the mountains and lose yourself in the wilderness for anywhere from an afternoon to a week, depending on the time of year and the farm schedule, was such an awesome thing! We learned many things on those excursions that are not taught in a classroom, and it shaped much of my character.
We would set up camp, then go exploring the nooks and crannies of the mountains for hours, then come back to the camp and start a fire for chow and sit around listening to the wind in the trees, the coyotes in the pastures, and stare at the sky filled with more stars than you can imagine... we would also talk about many things - one of our recurring discussions was how the land must have been before the plow, railroads, and other aspects of "civilization" tamed it; when the Commanche, Kiowa, Apache, and other Native American people roamed the land freely, living off of and with the land, relying on it to provide everything they needed to live.
Mind you, we weren't considering burning our tents and food and chasing a deer or hog down for our dinner (not that we were averse to cooking our own game), but this was more of a thought-experiment than anything else; something to while away the time. We'd look at some piece of gear (say, a tent) and say, "You know, the Native Americans wouldn't have needed this - they'd have just killed a deer or buffalo, or a caribou (if they were far enough north) and made a tent from the hide, used the bones for tools and decorations, the antlers for tools, etc. etc." After a while, it became a running gag among the siblings - say you were broken down on the side of the road with a burst waterhose; "Ya know, I bet we could fix this with the esophagus of a Caribou..." Anything and everything could be repaired, built, or improved with the many different parts of the mighty Caribou...
Fast forward a few years to 1992; my brother Jacob had moved to Miami, FL after the devastation of Hurricane Andrew to do construction work and be near his wife's family. We had just started to explore the beginnings of the Internet; I had been a BBS addict for years, and my favorite board had just installed a FidoNet - Internet email gateway. Jacob was a member of AOL (back when they sent out 3.5" floppies, not CDs), and they were allowing access to Internet email... I remember sending emails and then calling him to see how fast they took to get from Oklahoma City to Miami - less than 30 seconds from sent to received - and we were hooked. During this time, I began to refer to Jacob and his family as the Southeastern Branch of the Caribou Clan, and he and the rest of the siblings named me The Elder Caribou (being the oldest of five). When I started working at my first IT job with a small ISP, I was looking for a nickname that would be distinctive and unique - and Elder Caribou fit the bill nicely. In 15 years of net use, I have not found anyone else using that handle... which is pretty unbelievable :)
And now you have heard the Tale of the Caribou - if you are still awake, that is. :D
A long time ago, when I was growing up in the rural wilderness of southwest Oklahoma, my brothers and I would go hiking and camping in the nearby Wichita Mountains whenever the opportunity presented itself (and the farm chores were done). Our parents let us go into the mountains pretty much on our own once we had reached a certain level of maturity and woodcraft, as long as we left a plan of where we were headed and how long we expected to be gone; this is one of my fondest memories of my childhood. To be able to walk half a mile to the base of the mountains and lose yourself in the wilderness for anywhere from an afternoon to a week, depending on the time of year and the farm schedule, was such an awesome thing! We learned many things on those excursions that are not taught in a classroom, and it shaped much of my character.
We would set up camp, then go exploring the nooks and crannies of the mountains for hours, then come back to the camp and start a fire for chow and sit around listening to the wind in the trees, the coyotes in the pastures, and stare at the sky filled with more stars than you can imagine... we would also talk about many things - one of our recurring discussions was how the land must have been before the plow, railroads, and other aspects of "civilization" tamed it; when the Commanche, Kiowa, Apache, and other Native American people roamed the land freely, living off of and with the land, relying on it to provide everything they needed to live.
Mind you, we weren't considering burning our tents and food and chasing a deer or hog down for our dinner (not that we were averse to cooking our own game), but this was more of a thought-experiment than anything else; something to while away the time. We'd look at some piece of gear (say, a tent) and say, "You know, the Native Americans wouldn't have needed this - they'd have just killed a deer or buffalo, or a caribou (if they were far enough north) and made a tent from the hide, used the bones for tools and decorations, the antlers for tools, etc. etc." After a while, it became a running gag among the siblings - say you were broken down on the side of the road with a burst waterhose; "Ya know, I bet we could fix this with the esophagus of a Caribou..." Anything and everything could be repaired, built, or improved with the many different parts of the mighty Caribou...
Fast forward a few years to 1992; my brother Jacob had moved to Miami, FL after the devastation of Hurricane Andrew to do construction work and be near his wife's family. We had just started to explore the beginnings of the Internet; I had been a BBS addict for years, and my favorite board had just installed a FidoNet - Internet email gateway. Jacob was a member of AOL (back when they sent out 3.5" floppies, not CDs), and they were allowing access to Internet email... I remember sending emails and then calling him to see how fast they took to get from Oklahoma City to Miami - less than 30 seconds from sent to received - and we were hooked. During this time, I began to refer to Jacob and his family as the Southeastern Branch of the Caribou Clan, and he and the rest of the siblings named me The Elder Caribou (being the oldest of five). When I started working at my first IT job with a small ISP, I was looking for a nickname that would be distinctive and unique - and Elder Caribou fit the bill nicely. In 15 years of net use, I have not found anyone else using that handle... which is pretty unbelievable :)
And now you have heard the Tale of the Caribou - if you are still awake, that is. :D
Monday, June 04, 2007
The Elder Caribou's Pizza Recipe
Back in the wild country where the Caribou roam, the closest Pizza Hut was about 30 minutes away... not much chance of getting a delivery, and take-out was a bit impractical... so Mom used to make pizza for those times when we weren't able to drive to town just for dinner. She started with those Chef-Boyardee Pizza-In-A-Box kits, but then started making them from scratch when the family got too big for one box. I learned the recipe, and in the last 25 years or so have tweaked the recipe and cooking times until I have come up with a pretty good pizza - at least, that's my opinion, and I haven't killed anyone yet :)
Anyone who has watched me cook will know that for me, cooking is a messy, imprecise art that is best approached an open mind and willingness to let things go where they will, within certain general limits... so the following is as close as I can come to putting in writing a process that, for me, involves a good bit of "winging it"... feel free to modify / correct / steal anything you see here - and I'm always open for suggestions :)
This usually makes a large pizza, with a thicker or thinner crust depending on how much flour you use for the dough.
Approximate start-to-finish time - 1 hour
Preheat your oven to 425 deg. F
Dough:
~ 2 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup warm water
1 pkg dry yeast (or your favorite equivalent)
Sugar
1 T oil
Combine the flour, salt and baking soda in a large (preferably glass) bowl; in a glass bowl or measuring cup, draw one cup of fairly warm water (but not hot enough to kill the yeastie-beasties); add the yeast and sugar - I use about one tablespoon to give the yeast something to chow on. Let the yeast sit for a bit, until a head forms. Stir the yeast mixture into the flour mixture and add the oil as you mix the whole thing. Here's where karma steps in: you are aiming for a slightly sticky dough, just a bit wetter than bread dough... but not *too* wet. ( This is the part that is so hard to describe in print, but when you see it, you will understand... Feel free to substitute your own tastes / knowledge in this department.) Add flour or water to reach the desired consistency, and then cover the bowl with a cloth and put in a warm place to let it rise (but not too hot - I cooked my dough in the bowl once...)
While the dough is rising you can start the sauce - again, if your Granny gave you the Ultimate Secret Pizza Sauce recipe from The Old Country, substitute at will - this is *your* pizza, not mine :)
Sauce:
1 can tomato sauce (8oz)
Garlic
Onion
Oregano
Fennel
Other spices to taste
Personally, I just dump the whole list into a bowl and stir... why complicate things?
Also at this time, if I am adding meat that needs to be cooked such as ground beef, Italian Sausage or such, this is when I cook it - but you can do that before you prepare the dough if you like... and don't forget to check the dough occasionally.
Toppings (as desired):
*2-3 cups mozzarella/provolone/whatever cheese you like
*Pepperoni
Italian Sausage
Canadian Bacon
Ground Beef
Black Olives
Green Olives
Mushrooms
Bell Peppers
Onions
Tomatoes
Chicken
Whatever your heart (and stomach) may desire...
* With apologies to those who are vegetarian, lactose intolerant or do not consume pork, I personally feel that it is impossible to have a pizza without cheese and pepperoni - kinda like having a pizza without crust, in my book... again, my opinion, and we all know about opinions :) I won't complain if you put anchovies on your pizza, but I probably won't have a slice.
Putting it all together
Once the dough has risen almost double, you need to have a place to roll it out... I use a flour cloth (or bread cloth) that Mom gave me; you can use a high-threadcount clean pillowcase if you want... or just put some flour down on a clean counter - it's your kitchen :) Once you have a suitable workspace with plenty of flour, dump the dough out of the bowl onto the cloth (put some hot water in the bowl so it will be easier to clean later). Start kneading the dough, working some of the flour on the cloth into the dough - this is why you wanted the dough to be slightly wet - until it is a nice consistency... somewhat stiff, but not too much so... this is another point that it took a while to learn the proper point for the crust I was trying to make - just play with it till you get it right :)
If you are coordinated, you can spin and toss the dough to get the round, flat dough that goes on the pan... I tried once and that was enough - I roll it out by hand, using a rolling pin. A good indicator that your dough is at a good consistency is if, as you roll, it *almost* wants to stick to a floured rolling pin; if it sticks, it is too wet.
Once the dough is of the proper size to put on the pan - hmm, didn't talk about the pan yet, did I? I use a stainless steel pizza pan with airholes - it makes a nice brown crust on the bottom. You'll want to lightly coat it with your favorite non-stick agent, and sometimes I even give a *very* light dusting of cornmeal mixed with oregano, fennel seed and garlic...
Now that your pan is ready, place the dough on the pan, and make sure that it's evenly distributed on the pan. Gently crimp around the edges of the pan to make the edge of the crust. Now, take a fork and tap the tines all over the dough, putting lots of small holes in the crust - the pizza places have a roller that does this. It will help the crust to not balloon on you :)
If you have too much dough, you can either redistribute it or cut off the excess, roll it flat, place on a cookie sheet and cover with a light brushing of butter, then sprinkle with cinnamon/sugar - mmm-mmm!
At this point, let the crust sit in the pan for a few min - this allows the dough to proof a bit, which helps the consistency. I usually just clean the workspaces and put things where they belong, and when I am done, that's usually enough time :)
When you are ready, pour the sauce on the crust and spread evenly; pour the cheese on the crust, then the toppings - pop into the oven and wait till it looks like pizza :) Honestly, cooking times vary depending on ovens, time of year, how many toppings you have added, phase of the moon, etc... you will know when your pizza is ready, trust me. Bubbling cheese / toppings and a nice golden brown color on the crust are some clues.
Once it's looking all done and delicious, pull it out of the oven, turn the oven off, and let cool. I don't think I have to tell you what to do next, do I? Didn't think so... :)
In homebrew circles, there is a saying: "Relax, don't worry, have a homebrew!" It basically means don't worry, you are not going to screw this up if you just relax and have a good time with it. It is a good thing to apply to all forms of cooking - unless you totally incinerate your pizza, it will probably be one of the best pizzas you have *ever* tasted, because you created it! There's not a lot that can go wrong... so relax, don't worry, have a pizza (and a homebrew, if you have one)!
Bon Appetit!
Anyone who has watched me cook will know that for me, cooking is a messy, imprecise art that is best approached an open mind and willingness to let things go where they will, within certain general limits... so the following is as close as I can come to putting in writing a process that, for me, involves a good bit of "winging it"... feel free to modify / correct / steal anything you see here - and I'm always open for suggestions :)
This usually makes a large pizza, with a thicker or thinner crust depending on how much flour you use for the dough.
Approximate start-to-finish time - 1 hour
Preheat your oven to 425 deg. F
Dough:
~ 2 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup warm water
1 pkg dry yeast (or your favorite equivalent)
Sugar
1 T oil
Combine the flour, salt and baking soda in a large (preferably glass) bowl; in a glass bowl or measuring cup, draw one cup of fairly warm water (but not hot enough to kill the yeastie-beasties); add the yeast and sugar - I use about one tablespoon to give the yeast something to chow on. Let the yeast sit for a bit, until a head forms. Stir the yeast mixture into the flour mixture and add the oil as you mix the whole thing. Here's where karma steps in: you are aiming for a slightly sticky dough, just a bit wetter than bread dough... but not *too* wet. ( This is the part that is so hard to describe in print, but when you see it, you will understand... Feel free to substitute your own tastes / knowledge in this department.) Add flour or water to reach the desired consistency, and then cover the bowl with a cloth and put in a warm place to let it rise (but not too hot - I cooked my dough in the bowl once...)
While the dough is rising you can start the sauce - again, if your Granny gave you the Ultimate Secret Pizza Sauce recipe from The Old Country, substitute at will - this is *your* pizza, not mine :)
Sauce:
1 can tomato sauce (8oz)
Garlic
Onion
Oregano
Fennel
Other spices to taste
Personally, I just dump the whole list into a bowl and stir... why complicate things?
Also at this time, if I am adding meat that needs to be cooked such as ground beef, Italian Sausage or such, this is when I cook it - but you can do that before you prepare the dough if you like... and don't forget to check the dough occasionally.
Toppings (as desired):
*2-3 cups mozzarella/provolone/whatever cheese you like
*Pepperoni
Italian Sausage
Canadian Bacon
Ground Beef
Black Olives
Green Olives
Mushrooms
Bell Peppers
Onions
Tomatoes
Chicken
Whatever your heart (and stomach) may desire...
* With apologies to those who are vegetarian, lactose intolerant or do not consume pork, I personally feel that it is impossible to have a pizza without cheese and pepperoni - kinda like having a pizza without crust, in my book... again, my opinion, and we all know about opinions :) I won't complain if you put anchovies on your pizza, but I probably won't have a slice.
Putting it all together
Once the dough has risen almost double, you need to have a place to roll it out... I use a flour cloth (or bread cloth) that Mom gave me; you can use a high-threadcount clean pillowcase if you want... or just put some flour down on a clean counter - it's your kitchen :) Once you have a suitable workspace with plenty of flour, dump the dough out of the bowl onto the cloth (put some hot water in the bowl so it will be easier to clean later). Start kneading the dough, working some of the flour on the cloth into the dough - this is why you wanted the dough to be slightly wet - until it is a nice consistency... somewhat stiff, but not too much so... this is another point that it took a while to learn the proper point for the crust I was trying to make - just play with it till you get it right :)
If you are coordinated, you can spin and toss the dough to get the round, flat dough that goes on the pan... I tried once and that was enough - I roll it out by hand, using a rolling pin. A good indicator that your dough is at a good consistency is if, as you roll, it *almost* wants to stick to a floured rolling pin; if it sticks, it is too wet.
Once the dough is of the proper size to put on the pan - hmm, didn't talk about the pan yet, did I? I use a stainless steel pizza pan with airholes - it makes a nice brown crust on the bottom. You'll want to lightly coat it with your favorite non-stick agent, and sometimes I even give a *very* light dusting of cornmeal mixed with oregano, fennel seed and garlic...
Now that your pan is ready, place the dough on the pan, and make sure that it's evenly distributed on the pan. Gently crimp around the edges of the pan to make the edge of the crust. Now, take a fork and tap the tines all over the dough, putting lots of small holes in the crust - the pizza places have a roller that does this. It will help the crust to not balloon on you :)
If you have too much dough, you can either redistribute it or cut off the excess, roll it flat, place on a cookie sheet and cover with a light brushing of butter, then sprinkle with cinnamon/sugar - mmm-mmm!
At this point, let the crust sit in the pan for a few min - this allows the dough to proof a bit, which helps the consistency. I usually just clean the workspaces and put things where they belong, and when I am done, that's usually enough time :)
When you are ready, pour the sauce on the crust and spread evenly; pour the cheese on the crust, then the toppings - pop into the oven and wait till it looks like pizza :) Honestly, cooking times vary depending on ovens, time of year, how many toppings you have added, phase of the moon, etc... you will know when your pizza is ready, trust me. Bubbling cheese / toppings and a nice golden brown color on the crust are some clues.
Once it's looking all done and delicious, pull it out of the oven, turn the oven off, and let cool. I don't think I have to tell you what to do next, do I? Didn't think so... :)
In homebrew circles, there is a saying: "Relax, don't worry, have a homebrew!" It basically means don't worry, you are not going to screw this up if you just relax and have a good time with it. It is a good thing to apply to all forms of cooking - unless you totally incinerate your pizza, it will probably be one of the best pizzas you have *ever* tasted, because you created it! There's not a lot that can go wrong... so relax, don't worry, have a pizza (and a homebrew, if you have one)!
Bon Appetit!
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