The Genesis of Clan Caribou

Someone recently asked me, "Dude, what's up with this 'Elder Caribou' stuff?"... I directed him to this blog for an answer, whereupon I was informed that he had already searched the blog and all he found was this post, promising an answer that was never provided. Hmm... let me see... guess he's right. Crud. Well, I suppose there's nothing for it but to relate the Tale of the Caribou...

A long time ago, when I was growing up in the rural wilderness of southwest Oklahoma, my brothers and I would go hiking and camping in the nearby Wichita Mountains whenever the opportunity presented itself (and the farm chores were done). Our parents let us go into the mountains pretty much on our own once we had reached a certain level of maturity and woodcraft, as long as we left a plan of where we were headed and how long we expected to be gone; this is one of my fondest memories of my childhood. To be able to walk half a mile to the base of the mountains and lose yourself in the wilderness for anywhere from an afternoon to a week, depending on the time of year and the farm schedule, was such an awesome thing! We learned many things on those excursions that are not taught in a classroom, and it shaped much of my character.

We would set up camp, then go exploring the nooks and crannies of the mountains for hours, then come back to the camp and start a fire for chow and sit around listening to the wind in the trees, the coyotes in the pastures, and stare at the sky filled with more stars than you can imagine... we would also talk about many things - one of our recurring discussions was how the land must have been before the plow, railroads, and other aspects of "civilization" tamed it; when the Commanche, Kiowa, Apache, and other Native American people roamed the land freely, living off of and with the land, relying on it to provide everything they needed to live.

Mind you, we weren't considering burning our tents and food and chasing a deer or hog down for our dinner (not that we were averse to cooking our own game), but this was more of a thought-experiment than anything else; something to while away the time. We'd look at some piece of gear (say, a tent) and say, "You know, the Native Americans wouldn't have needed this - they'd have just killed a deer or buffalo, or a caribou (if they were far enough north) and made a tent from the hide, used the bones for tools and decorations, the antlers for tools, etc. etc." After a while, it became a running gag among the siblings - say you were broken down on the side of the road with a burst waterhose; "Ya know, I bet we could fix this with the esophagus of a Caribou..." Anything and everything could be repaired, built, or improved with the many different parts of the mighty Caribou...

Fast forward a few years to 1992; my brother Jacob had moved to Miami, FL after the devastation of Hurricane Andrew to do construction work and be near his wife's family. We had just started to explore the beginnings of the Internet; I had been a BBS addict for years, and my favorite board had just installed a FidoNet - Internet email gateway. Jacob was a member of AOL (back when they sent out 3.5" floppies, not CDs), and they were allowing access to Internet email... I remember sending emails and then calling him to see how fast they took to get from Oklahoma City to Miami - less than 30 seconds from sent to received - and we were hooked. During this time, I began to refer to Jacob and his family as the Southeastern Branch of the Caribou Clan, and he and the rest of the siblings named me The Elder Caribou (being the oldest of five). When I started working at my first IT job with a small ISP, I was looking for a nickname that would be distinctive and unique - and Elder Caribou fit the bill nicely. In 15 years of net use, I have not found anyone else using that handle... which is pretty unbelievable :)

And now you have heard the Tale of the Caribou - if you are still awake, that is. :D