The Elder Caribou says....

Q: Why is it that we often find that children are the most mature among us, and adults are the most childish?

A: Because some so-called "adults" are whiny little bitches that need their diapers changed, thats why... NYAH! :P So there! LOL

(okay, that was therapeutic :) )

We have seen the monkey, and he is *us*.

Road-Song of the Bandar-Log

By Rudyard Kipling

Here we go in a flung festoon,
Half-way up to the jealous moon!
Don't you envy our pranceful bands?
Don't you wish you had extra hands?
Wouldn't you like if your tails were--so--
Curved in the shape of a Cupid's bow?
 Now you're angry, but--never mind,
 Brother, thy tail hangs down behind!


Here we sit in a branchy row,
Thinking of beautiful things we know;
Dreaming of deeds that we mean to do,
All complete, in a minute or two--
Something noble and wise and good,
Done by merely wishing we could.
 We've forgotten, but--never mind,
 Brother, thy tail hangs down behind!


All the talk we ever have heard
Uttered by bat or beast or bird--
Hide or fin or scale or feather--
Jabber it quickly and all together!
Excellent!  Wonderful!  Once again!

Now we are talking just like men!
Let's pretend we are ... never mind,
Brother, thy tail hangs down behind!
This is the way of the Monkey-kind.

Then join our leaping lines
       that scumfish through the pines,
That rocket by where, light and high,
       the wild grape swings.
By the rubbish in our wake,
       and the noble noise we make,
Be sure, be sure, we're going to do some splendid things!

My Bou!

kinda says it all, don't you think?

god i hate meetings.

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!

Ricardo Montalbán

1920 - 2009

I debated whether I should use the above title for this post, but nothing else had any zing! Besides, even those too young to remember the Chrysler Cordoba have probably seen Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan... and if you haven't, then head over to your local cheap-dvd outlet and pick up a copy - you'll thank me for it! After the movie, you can scan the 500+ channels on your idiot box for Fantasy Island - quality entertainment at a bargain price! 

Mr. Montalbán was a pioneering Mexican-born actor in radio, theatre, television, and film. His filmography alone extends from 1943 - 2005, and his work in television ranged from 1956 - 2008 (he provided the voice for the genetically-engineered cow in the Family Guy episode, "McStroke").

Ricardo, wherever you are, may your chair be covered in soft Corinthian leather, and may all your fantasies come true!

Hey, is this thing on?

Blogging from my CrackBerry... Now *there's* a productive activity...

sunday! Sunday!! SUNDAY!!! 4/20 - The Humiliators will have you buzzin'...

Come check out the early show at the Red Eyed Fly (8th / Red River - Austin TX) - it's more fun than anyone should have on a Sunday night!

You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!!!

I guess these things come in threes....

Charlton Heston
1923 - 2008

To many of us, he was Moses, El Cid, Judah Ben-Hur, Mark Antony, Col. George Taylor, Cardinal Richelieu, and many other memorable roles... he was also a WWII veteran, Civil Rights activist, and a fervent believer in the right of Americans to keep and bear arms. Whether you share his views or not, he made an impact on millions of lives - and the world will be a smaller place without him.

Oh, and Al - you can go try to take his rifle now, but I'd bet you'll still have a fight on your hands.

New Blog!

Check out Elder Caribou's Wrangler Resurrection - my Spring Project for 2008! Fun for the whole family! Do it! NOW!

Open the pod bay doors, HAL...

More sad news: Arthur C. Clarke, visionary inventor and science fiction author, died today in his home in Sri Lanka. Clarke pioneered the concept of the geosynchronous orbit and communications satellites, as well as writing classic science fiction such as Rendezvous with Rama and 2001: A Space Odyssey, which Stanley Kubrick turned into the iconic movie of the same name. He also joined Walter Cronkite as a commentator for the Apollo Moon missions.

Godspeed.

RIP Gary Gygax 1938 - 2008

Gary Gygax, co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons and arguably the Father of Roleplaying Games has passed... may all your dice rolls come up 20's :)

... and now, this update:

The man comes on Friday to install our internets - if the cats don't eat them first, I plan to have a real blog update this weekend! There has been a lot going on since the last update... here's a preview

• Dawn got a new mountain bike
• I got a new kayak
• The Humiliators played at the Austin Marathon
• I started working on the Jeep
• There was a Lunar Eclipse
• And so much more!

Bet you can't wait!

omgomgomg im gonna die....

There's nothing like living on the edge...

After a six-month break from mountain biking, I am about to embark on a fitness program that will culminate in two events in May - The Armadillo Hill Country Classic on May 10th, and the Muddy Buddy Bike-n-Run on May 18th. We'll see how this all works out - it's a good thing they have short-distance rides for the Armadillo, or I'd be in a world of hurt!

It's still gonna be interesting, especially since I'll never be a member of the 120-pound-no-body-fat club... but I was riding 15 miles, 3-4 times a week last year at my peak, so I may not be Lance, but I probably won't die, either - it might even be good for me!

What I Did On My Autumn Vacation (Part I)

Really, it's been how long? Mid-September? Geez, I'm surprised that any of you remember where this thing is... or else you are terminally bored and the cable is out. So, to fuel your ennui, here's some of what's been going on in my world:

 

Divorce

Probably the biggest thing that happened to me last year (and to some extent is still happening) is that Paula and I divorced after almost 18 years... and yeah, divorce sucks. There's no two ways to put it. I really feel that we were both ready to take our lives in new directions, and it was a mutually amicable divorce; but still, it sucks. If you've been there, you know what I mean, and if you haven't — well, it just sucks, take my word for it. After all the legal stuff is done, there's still the moving out and the dividing of stuff and who gets the dogs, and a million other details that no one ever thinks about till they are staring you right in the face. No one ever gave me the "divorce" speech, either — you know, like the "birds and the bees" speech or the "it's time to move your lazy ass outta the house you bum" speech or the "hey look what I found underneath your socks in your dresser, how long have you been smoking this" speech... it just isn't one of those topics that parents seem to talk to their kids about. Now mind you, I'm not blaming them - the big "D" in our house was not an option, and my folks are still going strong after 42 years. Just sayin' that invariably there are certain things that one must face with little-to-no preparation, and you can learn a lot about yourself in how you deal with those situations.

 

Goin' to the country...

I am moving in with my girlfriend, Dawn... waaaaay out in BFTX. Okay, actually just a few miles northeast of Seward's Junction, near Liberty Hill, but you get the idea if you check out the map. It's 9 acres of Hill Country, and I love it! It's far enough away from the city that you can actually see stars at night and hear the neighbors in their backyard, half a mile away – yet close enough to main roads to allow you to make it to South Austin in 45 minutes to an hour. I love not being able to see any of our neighbors from the porch, and since we are not part of any housing addition, there are no HOA's, restrictions, etc. — no crazy neighbors to call the cops when the dogs bark or I want to put an antenna up. The only real drawback is that there are very few options when it comes to network connections... and brother, I mean few! In another year or so, there will probably be fibre pulled out there, since the area is growing fairly quickly, but right now the options are: dialup (gag); wireless DSL (okay, but the local provider has a lock on the market and knows it - and charges accordingly) and satellite (HughesNet) - which sucks for anything other than email and some browsing, since there's a huge lag built into the system due to the distance to/from the satellite in geostationary orbit 36,000 km above the planet. Try playing Quake with a 1/3-second lag time built in, on top of the normal lag... teh sux0rz.

Suffice to say that I am suffering thru 'Net withdrawals... but, the benefits far exceed the discomfort :)

 

How much wood...

Its a good thing that this winter has been mild thus far — we haven't had to burn an excessive amount of wood in the fireplace, although it's probably a bit cooler in the house than we'd like it to be. I'll trade that for skyrocketing electric bills any day of the week, though! Plus, I love the smell of a nice wood fire...

 

CAUTION: Bike Season Ahead

Thanks to a fantastic Christmas gift (a bike repair stand), I was able to finish repairs on my mountain bike (see this post) and just in time - I really need to get myself ready for the Muddy Buddy event this May, if I hope to be ready in time... guess I'll just have to ride in the cold. As long as it holds out like it has been, I should be fine. I am really ready to get back on the trails, and there are plenty of good places to ride out here, if you don't mind sharing the road with folks that drive 75mph on roads built for 30mph...

 

Where's Godzilla when you need him???

The Humiliators have been taking some time off for family, but we did manage to almost play a Halloween party with The Whoremoans (the music got shut down by the cops before we got on stage... ask one of us sometime), and we got to play a Christmas gig with Grub Dog, "The Island of Misfit Toys" at Trophy's... another fine night of hilarity and music was had by all! Look for us at mile 25 of the upcoming Austin Marathon — we were chased out of our Mile 1 spot by Steeler Jacket Dude from last year, before we even had a chance to play! Some folks just don't want to rock, I suppose. We have some new material in the works, so keep your eyes on the band website for upcoming show dates.

 

-- To Be Continued

Seriously?

Oh. My. Gawd. An update to the blog?

No, really, false alarm - I'm just testing offline publishing tools.

I'll be updating the blog soon.

Seriously.

ACL weekend update

ACL 2007 Weekend

This weekend I went to my first Austin City Limits Music Festival... what a blast! Three days, 130 bands and lots of fun! The weather was hot but not as bad as in recent years, so that was a plus... and I only bought the Saturday pass so that I could see what it was all about without having to worry about not using the whole pass. Next year I'll do the full weekend - it was really fun! I got to see a number of great bands, plus the people-watching is a sport in itself :)

Friday night, Dawn and I picked up Jessica and the gang at their hotel and drove to Opal Divine's on 6th St., where we met Dawn's friend Mando and had a great time with much food and drink... our server, Anna, really did a great job keeping up with us :) Then it was time for bed, to get ready for Saturday...

Saturday started off right - by sleeping in till noon(ish), and then having a leisurely lunch and drive into Austin... Dawn dropped me off at the ACL Shuttle dropoff and then was off running errands, while I got on a shuttle bus and was carried over to Zilker Park, and then the fun began!

While there were a lot (!) of people, there was none of the massive crush of humanity that I had expected after hearing some folks' descriptions... It was really well laid out, I had no problems finding anything and the only real problem was the fact that with so many people in one place using cellphones to locate and keep track of each other, the local cell nodes were so overloaded that sometimes you had to send a message five or six times to get it through! However, I soon met Jessica at the WaMu stage and we hung out there, listening to Beau Soleil, before going over to the AMD stage for Arctic Monkeys and Arcade Fire. It was a great time, and I will definitely be going next year! I left ACL early, however, because my brothers from SuperCrash were playing at Hanover's in Pflugerville at 10.30p... and I wasn't about to miss that show :) (Can you say "free beer"? I thought so.)

I made my way to the exit, and stood at the top of the hill for the first couple of songs of Muse's set (and light show - wow!)... then made my way to the shuttles to be carried back downtown. I was really impressed with the efficiency of the shuttles, but then I wasn't riding at peak times, either :) Once I got back to the shuttle dropoff, it was a short wait before Dawn picked me up and we headed north to Hanover's... I think I have found a new favorite watering hole! I can't believe that it's taken me this long to find this place! It's your basic rock bar; since it's in Pflugerville you can smoke (if that's your bag), and the staff are friendly and it just has a great feel... plus there are tables, volleyball courts and horseshoes/washers pits in the Biergarten out back. SuperCrash put on a great show, as usual! Following them was a Hendrix cover band called Stone Free that really put on a good show as well. As the bar was closing, we made our way home and crashed.

Sunday was a day for sleeping in, and then it was off to grab some lunch, run some errands and generally wind the weekend up in a nice way :) I'm looking forward to next year's ACL already!

Randomness (is that even a *word*??)

Dawn... wow, just... wow! I had no clue... yeah.

This will be the best birthday I have ever had...

WST, FTW!!!

I'm looking forward to getting my bike fixed so I can get back out on the trail (and kill myself again :) )

This is a year of transition for me, for sure... how do I know?

• I'm getting divorced
• My Dad has retired after 29 years in law enforcement
• My old National Guard unit has deactivated
• I've started biking and quit smoking

The Humiliators have been taking a break, but we are back in the practice room and I am glad! It's been waaaay too long since we played....

Sunsets are nicer when they are shared, even if it's by phone...

Always give a good handshake - you never know what might come from it...

A lot of good things happen in kitchens, especially at parties ;)

Fact: I can run the radio on my Suburban for over 12 hours and not need a boost.

Homebrew beer is better than any beer on the planet, for it is made with the soul of the brewer.

Chris's Alaskan Amber is some potent stuff!

I discovered Haruki Murakami this summer (thanks, Jes!)... omg this guy can write!!!

I can brew up a fair batch of beer, if I do say so myself... :)

Footprints on the ceiling? How'd those get up there???

Local bands to see: SuperCrash, The Whoremoans, Red Line Riot, Steamroller, Killer Crocs of Uganda, Ghosts of Nitheria, Butcherwhite, Drifter... and of course The Humiliators!

It's a damn good thing I have an unlimited text-message plan...

The Return to BCG and the Hill of Life

Saturday Chris and I returned to the Barton Creek Greenbelt - after months of rain, it was finally open to bicycles! I was particularly excited since the last time I rode this trail was with the "TBS" bike... see previous posts for more about this wonderful piece of machinery. I was looking forward to a great ride, and so we parked at Zilker Park and unloaded our bikes.

We left the parking lot with me in the lead, and it was awesome - I was riding over rocky terrain that had totally stumped me on the TBS, I felt good about the pace and I was enjoying the morning on the trail... we continued our record of meeting new people on the BCG, talking to a guy named Chuck at one of the water-crossings. Everything was going great until shortly after we had crossed under 360 and passed the spot where I had crashed after bonking on our third BCG trip...

>snap<

Oh, great! The @#?&!! chain broke!! And neither of us has a repair link (of course)... so we decide to just take the broken links out and ride on. Since we are still pretty green, it took about an hour to get the chain back on the bike :) Next time, it will be much easier, plus we both realized the importance of having repair links. During the repair process, I noticed that my shifter lever for the rear derailleur was not functioning properly. Wonderful - stuck on one sprocket... okay, no worries, I'll just ride out like this, using only the front chainrings to shift. I mean what else could go wrong? Once we got back on the trail, we actually made pretty good time considering I couldn't speed through the flats; then we arrived at

THE HILL OF LIFE

I had heard tales of THoL; tales of punishing climbs and technical descents... but nothing prepared me for the reality. As we started up the hill, stretched before me was a steep climbing slope, strewn with rocks, ledges and gullies, that stretched on forever (in reality about 1/3 mile)... suffice to say that I was totally unprepared for climbing THoL and it Totally. Kicked. My. Ass. The climb took forever, and I ran out of gas about 100m from the top, fell twice and generally bonked despite a good breakfast, Clif Bars and plenty of water/electrolytes. Once at the top and after a bit of rest, we rode the asphalt back to Zilker Park - plenty of nice long downhill runs, a couple of hills that were gnarly only because I couldn't get into the proper gear and no rocks to climb! :)

Once we were on Capitol of Texas Highway, I noticed that I had a wobble in my rear wheel... oh that's just fine - one more thing to fix. Fortunately it was not so severe as to prevent riding. Looks like Murphy was my ride buddy for sure this day... so I pulled off the road and adjusted the chain onto a smaller sprocket to get away from the wheel and get some speed on the pavement... The capper on the day came only about 1/4 mi. from the Jeep - we had made it that far when I heard a loud BANG from my rear wheel - blowout!!! It was the final blow... I was done. We pushed our bikes back to the jeep, loaded up and headed for Whataburger for some comfort burgers.

I learned a lot that Saturday morning:

1. Always have a spare chain-link in your kit, along with a spare tube and, if possible, a spare spoke... never assume your chain is too new to break
2. When things go wrong, there is always a way to limp home - be creative
3. When things go wrong, they often do in bunches - don't be frustrated
4. The Hill of Life is a cold-hearted life-sucking bitch. Period.
5. I can be positively unpleasant when I am down to my last energy reserves (okay I knew that already :) )
6. Biking the BCG is still my favorite trail in Austin!!!

Until next time - andiamo!

Riding the dirt roads...

Cooperton Valley Mud Ride

I finally got some time to go up to Oklahoma to see family; the band is taking a break, so I loaded up the Suburban and headed north. One of the goodies I loaded was my old bike, the faithful Titanium Boron Steel beast that I've posted about previously... Justin is becoming quite handy at refurbishing old bikes, and he needed a bike for town use - exactly what this bike is made for, despite its outward appearance (heh). Justin's legs are shorter than mine, which means he'll probably fit the bike better, once he gets a new seat post installed.

Above is a link to the test ride we did on Saturday morning - not bad, we did four miles (one trip around the section) and only had to walk one mile, and that only because the road was a sticky mess of wet clay! If it had been a bike trail, we'd have turned around so as not to damage it, but these roads see more abuse than a pair of bicycles can hand out so we pressed on... actually we probably should have turned around and gone back the way we came, but that's no fun!

Once we got past all the mud, it was pavement for the last mile so we had no more problems. After we got back, we got the hose out and spent some time getting the mud off the bikes before it set like concrete! Then, with the bikes all clean and loaded in the back of the truck, we went in to spend time with Dad and Mom.

*** GEEK ALERT ***

After lunch, I followed my brother to his house in Altus to spend time with his family there... his son Paul introduced me to my new time-sink: LEGO Star Wars II - The Original Trilogy. This is the Best PS2 Game Evar! I haven't spent so much time laughing at a game since my brother Jacob and I started playing "tank soccer" in Operation:Flashpoint :D The cutscenes are hilarious - they are true to the movies, with just the right touch of irreverent humor that really makes it worth the $20 I spent on the game... as soon as I got home and unloaded, I tossed the disc in and spent the next 5 hours on the console - I haven't done that since The Legend of Zelda! If you only have room for one PS2 title, this would be a good choice.

It's getting close to time to brew another batch of beer; I'm down to my last 8 :) Chris's Amber and WTF Beer should all be bottled soon, so I need to get another batch started - I love my beer LOL

Dearly Beloved....

Purple Pain

This was a busy weekend - but it's more fun that way :)

Thursday night The Humiliators shared the stage at the Troubadour Saloon with Red Line Riot - and if you have never heard these cats play, then you better get with the program! Playing a mix of original tunes and Jimi Hendrix covers, they are guaranteed to get you moving... check them out this Saturday night at Room 710, along with Drifter (Iron Maiden tribute) and Big Balls (AC/DC tribute) for Tribute Night!

Friday night SuperCrash played at Headhunters... I stopped by and chatted with Jaime, Kay, Jim and Steve on my way to Games & Dames at Emo's Lounge - poker, blackjack and burlesque acts from some very talented and beautiful performers, headlined by the incomparable Miss Maulie... definitely a nice way to spend a Friday night! Only one problem - Emo's poor A/C unit was not up to the task of cooling the house in the August Texas night... it was cooler outdoors! After the show was over, I headed back to Headhunters with Todd and Michelle to catch up with John and the SuperCrash gang for some ass-kickin' rock... then off to bed to recharge for the next day's fun.

Saturday was a full day indeed - a friend of mine from work (Lee) was throwing her annual pool party / birthday bash... I showed up about 3.30p for pool volleyball, Rudy's BBQ and strawberry daiquiris (w00t!) With the temperature in the high 90's the pool was *the* happenin' place to be :) Around 8ish I left for downtown, because The Humiliators were playing in the Purple Pain Festival at Trophy's on South Congress - Grub Dog, the man who brought you the Freebird FU, put together another fun show for us! Every band had to play Purple Rain, and one other Prince tune of our choosing; we chose to do a lounge-version of Kiss :) Everyone had a great time, and the highlight of the night was when all the bands (and some extras) got onstage for the Purple Rain Extravaganza Jam - Collin got a free purple shirt, we got money thrown at us, and best of all, Grub Dog didn't taco someone's ride cymbal this time (probably because there was no community bottle of Jack Daniels), so everyone left a winner!

Sunday was a day of recuperation and (oddly enough) blowing things up with artillery, courtesy of Operation Flashpoint and my brother Jacob - this is one of our favorite ways to release the day's tension and frustrations! After the artillery battles, we went head-to-head with helicopter duels - yeah, we're geeks - deal with it!

The Humiliators are taking some time off for family, plus we have a number of new tunes that are in various stages of completion - keep your eye on the website for scheduling!